I really can’t stand birds. I’ve always disliked birds ever since I was a kid. A bird attacked me when I was playing in the backyard one day, and from that moment on, I would feel fear and anger whenever I saw a bird. Recently, a woodpecker damaged by window shutters. It was the oddest occurrence and I had to drive the woodpecker away with a broom while hoping that it wouldn’t try to peck me in the head. I’m not entirely sure, but I don’t think that a human head can survive too many pecks from a woodpecker.

I was mad about my shutters, but there was nothing I could really do besides replace them. I wish I could have made that woodpecker pay for my new shutters, but that was impossible. I knew of just the place to buy my new shutters. There was a website that …